黑矮星系 宇宙最深处 Black dwarf system deepest space
紫矮星系 宇宙稍深处 Violet dwarf system slightly deep space
你和我将会重获新生 You and I will be reborn
在未来的某时某地 In a future place and time
如果我们的印度教友说的都是真的 If everything our hindu brethren say is true
在万物轮回的时代里 In an age of things that hover
你和我还会是对恋人 You and I will still be lovers
我们会对自己说 And we'll say to ourselves
以前是那样 现在也是那样 That was then and this is, too
喔喔啦喔 喔喔 Doo-doo-be-doo, doo-doo
因为我们还会找到意外的热点 'cause we'll still find the happening hot spots
我们仍然可以在凉爽的绿洲里漫游 We'll still cruise the cool casinos
你还会带我飞去月球 You'll still fly me to the moon
即使你带我去的月球 Although the moon to which you fly me
可能是火卫一或是火卫二 Could be phobos or deimos
从参宿七九号星来的心灵蠕虫 The psychic worms from rigel nine
控制着我们的所作所为 Who control everything we do
将会让我们以为那时就是这样 Will make us think that was then
3010年就和1962年一模一样 And 3010 is exactly the same as 1962
我的朋友 别期待会有什么改变 Don't expect any changes, my friend
那时这样 现在也是这样 That was then and this is, too
Mars vegas 不灭之城万岁 Wow, Mars vegas. Long live the eternal city.
2 1 0 Two, one, zero!
下地狱去吧 你这粪坑 Rest in hell, crapville!
在沙漠里 我们将会建座更大更好的维加斯 Out here in the desert, we're gonna build bigger, better vegas.
海洋般大的浴缸 身材更丰满的妓女 Bathtubs size of oceans, hookers size of bouncers.
汉堡包啊 Hamburger!
闭嘴时请当心 Stand clear of the closing jaws.
你要是想弄弯这些支架 我认识个行家 Yo, you need any girders bent, I know a guy.
那边会建什么呢 爸爸 So what's gonna be over there, dad?
那边 那片绿洲啊 That? That the oasis.
未来绿洲旅馆的选址 Future site of oasis hotel.
接招吧 愚蠢的大自然 Take that, you stupid mother nature.
好了 让我们好好震他一下 Okay. Let's hit him hard.
这是你的家园 也是我的家园 This land is your land this land is my land
你们这些吵闹的女人是谁 Who are you noisy women?
我是弗丽达·瀑布 绿化生态男女平等促进会会长 I'm Frida Waterfall, leader of the greenorita eco-feminist collective,
我们不会让你们这些愚人毁了这美丽的女性沙漠 And we will not let you man-doze this beautiful gyno-desert.
我是里奥·黄 我会说"嘣" Well, I'm Leo Wong, and I say, "boom. "
我的女性化项链哪去了 Hey, what happened to my femi-necklace?
我的娘子军们呢 and where's my mega-fem?
他伤得很严重吗 孢子博士 Is he badly hurt, Dr. Zoidberg?
我不知道该怎么说 I don't quite know how to say this.
弗莱德死了 Fry is dead!
等等 没死 情况有变 Wait, not dead. The other thing.
该死的生态娘子军 Damn eco-broads!
喷喷杀鹰剂都会让她们不满 You can't even spray for eagles without upsetting these kooks.
在你开工前先暂停下 Now, hang on. before you do construction,
你难道不用确定 Don't you have to make sure
本土动植物不会受伤害吗 you're not harming any native species?
你是指草率的环境调查吗 You mean, cursory environmental survey?
早就做了 靠这位顶级科学家 Already done! By top scientist.
天啊 没错 黄先生 工程继续 Oh, my, yes. you've got the go-ahead, mr. wong.
这地方比去年的猫还没生机 This place is deader than last year's cat.
不 才不是 No, it's not!
这浑水池里就有很珍贵的生命 There's precious life right here in this scum puddle.
马氏鳉 沙漠里的淤泥水蛭 Cyprinodon martius. the desert muck leech.
真神奇 整个种类都生活在这一小臭洞里 Amazingly, the entire species lives in this one tiny stinkhole.
除掉这些要 Killing these will be so much easier
比消灭那些矮种马容易多了 than exterminating those ponies.
等等 Wait a second.
水蛭也许没有熊猫和毛球族那样讨人喜爱 Leeches may not be cuddly like pandas or tribbles,
但这些可怜的濒临灭绝的小生物值得 But these poor endangered creatures deserve...
走开 Get off me!
踩它个粉身碎骨 Stompy and smashy.
不 别杀它 我们得 No, don't kill it! we have to...
行了 它们不再濒临灭绝了 而是绝种了 There. they're not endangered anymore. they're extinct.
不 还没呢 我拯救了一只 No, they're not. I saved this one.
我会抚养它并且照顾它 And I'm gonna raise it and care for it,
这样所有人以后都会知道他们失去了什么 So the world will forever know what it's lost.
你这讨厌的小粘虫 You freaking slime wad!
不 我杀了它 这可是最后一只了啊 No. I killed it. it was the last of its kind.
妈的 放开我 你这 Mother. let go of me, you...
可怜的小东西 Poor thing.
我说 弗莱德 你们要是保证不告我 Tell you what, Fry. You all promise not to sue me,
我就给你扑克大赛全程免费的代币 I give you token for free entry in poker tournament.
他收下了 你们都看见了 He took it, you all saw it!
看见了 也可能没看见 我本德能有什么好处 Maybe we did, maybe we didn't. What's in it for me, Bender?
好吧 好吧 等新维加斯开放后来吧 Okay, okay. come back when new vegas opens,
我给你们免费开房 I give you all free rooms,
免费晚餐和席琳·迪翁演唱会的入场券 Free dinner and free tickets to celine dion.
免去席琳·迪翁入场券 就达成协议 Lose the celine dion tickets and you got yourself a deal.
好吧 真该死 成交 All right, damn it, done!
太好啦 我得分啦 All right, I scored.
新拉斯维加斯 劲爆开张
小心哦 维加斯 我可是很有一套的 Look out, vegas, I've got a system.
我破产了 I'm bankrupt.
你说对了 赫梅斯 他是很可怜 但很可爱 You said it, Hermes. he is pathetic, but lovable.
是啊 什么 伙计 我从没这么说过 Yup. what? I said no such thing, man.
我没有怪怪的 里拉 为什么大家都在说话 I am not acting weird, Leela. why is everyone talking at once?
弗莱德 冷静点 别想了 Fry, calm down and stop braining.
是啊 弗莱德 也许你需要 Yeah, Fry, maybe you need...
艾米 你说的没错 也许我该去换换气 You're right, Amy! maybe I do need some fresh air.
伙计 我还真担心他 Man, I'm worried about him.
但还不到停止赌博的地步 But not enough to stop gambling for even a single second.
你赢啦 该死的 You win, damn it!
逃不出我的手心 It's all in the wrist.
老有大喊大叫的声音 Voices always yelling.
谁说的 我没疯 住口 别在我脑袋里说话 Who said that? I'm not insane. stop it. stop talking in me!
被声音所困扰吗 伙计 我有经验 Voices bothering you, man? I've been there.
你需要这种小东西 You need one of these doodangs.
铝箔帽 他当然喜欢熏牛肉 A foil hat? of course, he likes pastrami.
狗睾丸怎么办呢 What about the dog's testicles?
真有效 没声音了 Hey, it worked. the voices stopped.
他们有一大批精选的汽化机 They've got a huge selection of carburetors...
等等 等等 Hang on. hang on.
这就好多了 我叫棚屋 That's better. my name's Hutch.
你好 棚屋 那些讨厌的尖嗓门是怎么回事 Hi, Hutch. so what's with the obnoxious, shrieking voices?
难道我能直接听到别人的看法吗 Are my fillings picking up the view?
不 伙计 实际上 那是其他人的想法 No, man. truth is, it's other people's thoughts.
你会读心术 You're a mind reader.
天啊 天啊 虽然 实际上 这很明显 Oh, my god! oh, my god! although, actually, it was sort of obvious.
你不相信啊 把头盔摘了 You don't believe me? take off the helmet.
-我相信你 -说真的 摘了它 - I believe you. - seriously, do it.
试音啦 试音啦 你能听到我的心思吗 Testing, testing. do you read me?
-非常清晰 -什么 - Loud and clear. - what?
我说 "非常清晰" I said, "loud and clear. "
只不过我是在心里说的 不是用嘴 Only I said it with my thinker, not my talker.
真怪异 为什么我读不了你的思想 Whoa! freaky. why can't I read your thoughts?
我不知道 等等 秘密社会是什么 I don't know. wait. what's that about a secret society?
别管那个 戴着帽子你就没事了 Never mind that. just keep the foil on and you'll be okay.
而且 这样暗影就不能入侵你大脑 Also, it'll keep the dark ones from incinerating your brain.
那样挺好 That's a plus.
千万不要 不要告诉任何人你会读心术 And don't ever, ever, ever tell anyone you can read minds,
或者暗影就会抓到你 就像这样 Or the dark ones will get you like that.
等等 手上还有比萨饼油 Hang on, pizza grease.
就像这样 Like that.
天啊 她充电过度了吧 Jeez, get a load of the batteries on her.
我真想好好夹夹她们啊 I'd like to get my clamps on those.
吓她一跳 你懂我的意思吧 Give her a jump, you know what I mean?
注意点形象 大夹子 这不是脱衣秀 Show some decorum there, clamps. this ain't no strip show.
这是色情艺术的诱惑性表演 This is a beguiling display of the pornographic arts.
省省吧 我能看到某人的屁股呢 Yo, skip, I can see a guy's butt.
迈克 这美好的蜜月的最后一天真是完美 Oh, michael, this is the perfect end to a perfect honeymoon.
我好爱你 I love you so much.
-这位子有人吗 -事实上 我们 - is this seat taken? - actually, we...
把鸡翅递给我 Slide me those chicken wings.
你们这些土包子从哪个乡下来的 So what part of podunk you rubes from?
东北 The north-eastern.
女士们和先生们 Monsieurs et mademoiselles,
我们从新奥尔良来的超感马戏团乘汽船抵达啦 Our circus of the senses now arrives by steamboat in new orleans,
大概从2873年来的 Circa 2873.
让长号那柔和的悲叹在雾中回响 The muted lament of a trombone resonates through the fog,
即使现在在雾怪袭击后 Which lingers even now,
余音仍在绕梁 months after the attack of the fog monster.
只有一个希望能让我们的齿轮恢复听觉 With but one hope of restoring gearoticus to his throne,
我们感官的命运就由她来旋转啦 Our sensual fate rests in the gyrations of
芬妮 Fanny.
谁啊 Yes?
我是本德 让我们来电吧 I'm bender. let's do it.
是谁 联邦局的人吗 Who is it, the feds?
你不是党伯吗 机器人黑手党的头头 Aren't you the donbot, head of the robot mafia?
传说是这样 这是我可爱的妻子 芬妮 Allegedly. and this is my beloved wife, fanny,
能让我拿把电钻拼死守卫的人 Whose honor I would proudly defend with a power drill.
我得去拉个大号 Well, I gotta go drown a stoolie.
我可能得再待一会 I'm gonna be in here a while
帮我个忙载我妻子回家吧 So do me a favor and drive my wife home.
那车有自动驾驶功能 It's one of them self-driving cars,
所以只要坐在后座上 干啥都行 So just sit in the back and do whatever.
本德 你的嘴唇是如此醉人 Oh, Bender, your lips are intoxicating.
就像亲吻烟雾弥漫的烟灰缸 It's like kissing an ashtray full of hot wings.
天啊 我真的能读心呢 我有超能力啦 My god, I really can read minds. I have a superpower!
我肯定能利用这点做些什么 There must be something great I can do with this.
你好 女士 我能读出你的心思 Hello, ladies, I can read your thoughts.
等等 那应该是隐身术才行 Oh, wait, that's invisibility.
宇宙扑克冠军赛 明日开赛 奖金优厚
扑克 靠我的读心术和隐身术 Poker. with my mind-reading abilities and my invisibility...
等等 不对 只有读心术 稳赢不输 Wait, no, just the mind reading. I can't lose!
我要进去参赛 Sign me up for the tournament, please.
好的 爆米花 入场费是50000块 Okey-doke, jiffy pop. entry fee's 50,000 smackers.
靠 我就只有这么点积蓄 Drat, all I have is my life savings
和一个扑克联赛免费入场的代币 And a token for free admission to this poker tournament.
这就够了 Close enough.
你和机器人黑手党的老大的妻子有一腿吗 You're having an affair with the head of the robot mafia's wife?
是啊 正和我亲热的这位 Yup, this is her I'm making out with.
本德 你疯了吗 Bender, are you crazy?
不 疯了的人是弗莱德 No, it's fry who's crazy in this one.
我没有 I'm not crazy.
弗莱德 你确定你没事吗 You sure you're okay, fry?
我是说 你确实戴着顶铝箔帽 I mean, you do have tin foil on your head.
所以呢 你脖子上还挂只水蛭呢 So? you got a leech on your neck.
说到吸你的脖子 And speaking of sucking on your neck,
待会想去看个电影吗 want to go to a movie later?
各位今晚过得怎么样啊 Hey, there! how are you folks doing tonight?
很好 特色菜是什么 Great. what are the specials?
我看看 我们有不错的大灰熊 Well, let's see now. we've got a wonderful grizzly bear
在玉米粥里泡过了 没感觉到多大的痛苦 That's been dipped in cornmeal and lightly tormented.
-有问题吗 -那只熊叫什么 - questions? - what was the bear's name?
-乔乔 -我就要它啦 - jojo. - ooh, I'll have him.
-快把我藏起来 -嘿 党伯 - hide me! - hey, donbot,
那不是你妻子吗 上次你娶的那个 Ain't that your wife what with you had that wedding with?
党伯 亲爱的 真是个惊喜啊 Donbot, honey! what a pleasant shock!
我刚在独自用餐 忽然你就来陪我了 I was just having dinner alone, when suddenly you walk in on us.
一个人吗 Alone, huh?
我在哪 Where am I?
我正在一个距这餐馆 I was exploring a wormhole through
许多光年的暖洞里头探索 Space many light years from this restaurant,
忽然我就被黑暗笼罩了 When suddenly I was surrounded by darkness.
火辣 性感的黑暗 Hot, sexy darkness.
怎么 你好啊 党伯 你好啊 小姐 我们见过吗 我是本德 Why, hello, donbot! hello, miss, have we met? I'm bender.
世界上最性感的机器人 The world's most sexual robot.
我是说 世上最能分明界限的机器人 I mean, the world's most boundary-respecting robot.
很高兴见到你 本德 欢迎回来 Nice to see you, bender. welcome back to our universe.
听着 甜心 我抢劫了柏林顿的服装厂 Listen, sugar, I stuck up the burlington coat factory
给你带了个小礼物 价值49美元 And got you a little something. it's a $49 value.
党伯 我爱你 Donbot, I love you!
-不是真的 -伙计 这太棒了 - not really. - man, this is great!
我一直想泡个穿皮衣的女士 机会来了 I always wanted to nail a dame in a fur coat, and now's my chance.
我是说 如果你能给我介绍个 先生 和你一样辣 I mean, if you'll introduce me to one, sir. one as sexy as you, baby!
我走啦 Bender out.
本德 从没活的那么真实 I never felt so alive, bender.
听着 这件绿宝石镶嵌的胸衣值五万美元 Listen, this turquoise-encrusted bra is worth 50 grand.
我们卖了它然后私奔吧 在党伯发觉之前 Let's sell it and run off before the donbot gets wise.
不 让你这样的女孩幸福 No. it will take a lot more money than that
这点小钱远远不够 to make a girl like you happy.
-不 不会的 -会的 闭嘴 - no, it won't. - yeah, it will. shut up!
我们会私奔 We'll run off,
但得等我赢了宇宙扑克冠军赛 but not till after I win the universal poker championship!
一张入场票 One entry, please.
本德 不行的 你不可能成为宇宙赌神的 Bender, no! You can't beat the best players in the universe.
-你运气不够哇 -是吗 我有40%的幸运率 - You're not lucky enough. - Oh, no? I'm 40% lucky.
我这件铁皮可吉利了 The scrap metal I'm made from included a truckload of horseshoes
是墨西哥幸运赛马的蹄子铁打制成的 From the luckiest racehorses in mexico,
只不过送到胶水厂粘了一下 Who had just been sent to a glue factory.
-听上去够倒霉的 -整整鞋子就幸运啦 - They don't sound so lucky to me. - Not without their shoes.
舞蹈喷泉 *秒后喷发
曼妥思薄荷糖 Slurm瘦身功能饮品
太神奇啦! That's great!
本 带着这个 能给你带来70%的运气 Here, Bendy, take this. It will give you 70% more luck.
是党伯的幸运机器脚 It's the Donbot's lucky robot's foot.
太棒了 有这两件宝贝 肯定输不了 All right! With two kinds of luck, I can't lose.
不 是3件 我踩到了个小精灵 No, wait, three. I stepped on a leprechaun.
伙计 看清楚那对狗男女了吧 Yo, you see this over here over there?
我的钳子要发威了 I'm powering up the clamps.
小比利洗衣店
喂喂喂 咱们先别过早定论 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Let us not rush to judgment.
不过 老大 But, skip,
那是从你腿上掉的幸运机器脚啊 That was your lucky robot's foot what came off of your lucky leg.
早上醒了发现只有一只脚 这事实不假 While it is true that I did wake up with only one foot this morning,
可没啥证据能证明是芬妮宝贝干的 There is no proof that my beloved fanny was involved.
倒是她枕头下的钢锯值得怀疑 Aside from the hacksaw I found under her pillow.
怎么处置本德那家伙呢 Well, what about that Bender guy?
赏他一钳子你看如何 You want I should give him the clamps?
没到动粗的时候 Not yet, clamps.
唯有一事能证明他是小偷 Only one thing can prove that he has my lucky foot.
你是说用钳子什么的严刑逼供? Torture with the clamps or a clamp-like device?
不 我们按兵不动 No. We are gonna sit tight
看他是否赢得扑克赛冠军 and see if he wins the poker tournament.
赢了 就说明他确实偷了我的脚 He does, that proves he's packing my lucky foot,
那样的话... In which event...
钳子伺候! The clamps!
搞死他! Or a clamp-like device.
欢迎电视机前恹恹欲睡的朋友们收看本台 Welcome viewers who fell asleep with the Tv on!
现在为您直播3009无限制级扑克锦标赛 It's the 3009 no-limit hold 'em championship.
我是带给您精彩解说的佩恩-吉列特的大头 I'm the massive head of Penn Jillette,
(Penn & Teller一档著名魔术节目) 而这位 是我的搭档Teller And here with a color commentary, my partner teller.
他死翘翘之前我们也就这套唠了 Our act really didn't change much when he died.
不好意思 我是新手 Pardon me, I'm new to this game.
这大袋子钱够押注吧 Is this duffle bag big enough for all your money?
本德 见鬼 我们竟然是同场选手 Bender? Oh, boogers. We're in the same tournament.
快带着你的入场费走吧 Quick, get your entry fee back
否则肯定被我输得倾家荡产 Before I bankrupt you.
白日做梦 傻瓜 In your dreams, nutloaf.
让你尝尝我的厉害! Bite my shiny metal hat.
堪萨斯州的赌王特克·康乃狄格先发制人 Tex Connecticut, the pride of kansas city, first to act.
笑脸·斯蒂夫 跟牌 Smiley Spiff, up next.
看上去波霸范德比尔特摸到一对不错的牌 Looks like Boobs Vanderbilt has a decent pair.
她有2张8 Also, she's got two eights.
本德·洛迪古斯一开局就赌神高照 And Bender rodriguez picks up a lucky deal right off the bat.
两张老A 唱歌奏乐... Two aces. I'm thinaking guitar solo.
我不跟 I fold.
靠 神经兮兮的新人菲力·弗莱德请到神人相助 Holy crap! A stunning play by mentally ill newcomer Philip Fry.
好像他知道本德手里有两张老A It's almost as if he knew Bender had two aces.
本德手里有两张老A 我不要了 Bender has two aces? I'm out.
-我不要了 -我不要了 - I'm out. - I'm out.
眼馋吧! Suck my luck!
瞧着这把枪了吧 See this gun?
本德要是赢了 下场如此枪 That's what I'm gonna do to Bender if he wins.
全部 有种的来拿! All in. Call my mighty bid at your peril.
我的牌太差了 我要抱抱 My cards are awful, and I need a hug.
我看你是吓唬人 I call your bluff.
我要废了你... I shall annihilate...
我只想让老爸以我为荣 I just wanted to make my daddy proud.
不可能了 周一前带着你的破烂滚吧 Well, you didn't. I want you and your junk moved out by Monday.
现场状况愈演愈烈 It's getting pretty intense, folks.
根据特勒的头部腐烂情况 Based on the state of decomposition of teller's head,
可以推算出锦标赛已经进行了19个小时 We're now in hour 19 of the tournament.
看起来本德第一次摸到了最差的牌 And the first bad deal of the night for Bender.
神呐 显显灵啦! 瞧这牌多臭! Hey, pal, help me out here. This is the worst possible hand, right?
全部 I'm all in.
我跟 随便吧 All in! I mean, fold. Whatever.
本德运气用完了 Well, Bender's luck just ran out.
没啥牌能帮他挽回败局 No card can save him from elimination.
我的妈呀! 他死了 Oh, my gourds! He's dead.
21点 赢家 21, winner!
真他妈的走运 比拉屎还爽 I'm so full of luck, it's shooting out like luck diarrhea.
赌徒们 注意啦 Wake up, poker fans!
我们马上进入总决赛 We're down to our final two players
巅峰对决的赌神之争 In heads-up action for the championship.
你有啥高见 特勒 Your perspective, teller?
全押上 All in.
可是你咋不看牌呢! But you didn't even look at your cards!
在赌场上 只有靠技术的人才会看牌 Looking at one's cards is a crutch for players who rely on skill.
现在 弗莱德 跟还是不跟 Any day now, Fry. You in or out?
怎么啦弗莱德 吓傻了 还是发疯了 What's the matter, Fry, you scared? Or just crazy?
好吧 全押上 All right, all in.
酷 4张老A Yes! Four aces!
来数数牌 看看是啥 等着哭吧 Read 'em and weep, and then tell me what they are.
2张老K 加上翻开的3个 Two kings. And with three on the board,
一共5张老K that gives Bender five kings.
-怎么可能... -难以置信 - but how is that... - I don't believe it.
本德竟然摸到了老K牌啤酒 Bender has just been dealt the king of beers,
尽管这张K是从酒吧里面混进来的垫子 A coaster from the bar that somehow got mixed into the deck.
不过算数! But it still counts!
本德成为新一代赌神! Bender win the championship!
钱是好东西呀! That's some good money.
你赢了 本德 你是最棒的 You did it, Bender. You're the greatest.
跟我说点别的 宝贝 Tell me something I don't know, sweetass.
咱们跳舞吧 Now, let's boogie.
党伯察觉之前 我们先去塔希提岛爽歪歪吧! We'll be in space tahiti before the Donbot knows what hit him.
我现在开始怀疑了 Now I am suspicious.
好啦 坟坑挖完了 可以送我们走了吗 Okay, we finished digging this shallow grave. Can we go now?
在机器人黑老大把本德弄死之前 Poor Bender left me one last voicemail
这是可怜的家伙留给我最后的语音邮件 Before the robot mafia buried him in the desert.
弗莱德 老伙计 死之前 我只想说... Fry, old friend, before I die, I just wanted to say...
别挂断 有另一通电话进来 喂 Hang on, I'm getting another call. Hello?
大家排队 人手一把锹 Line up, people! Everyone take a shovel
一个人要挖1/6的星球 And one sixth of the planet.
等我们50年后嗝儿屁著凉了 We'll meet back here in 50 years,
咱们再在这里聚聚 Our bodies broken and our lives wasted.
你是说这铁锹是免费的吗 And you say these are free shovels?
我回来了 哦耶 I'm back, baby.
本德 我原以为机器人黑老大杀了你 Bender! I thought the robot mafia killed you.
没 他们只是射射枪 埋我们一阵子 Nah, they just shot us and
警告我们一下 Buried us a few times as a warning.
本德真是太勇敢啦 Bender was so brave.
即使是他们枪射我们的时候 He never stopped making out with me
还忍不住跟我卿卿我我 The whole time they were shooting us.
那是当然 I sure didn't.
我要回我老公那儿去 今晚你来吗 I gotta get back to my husband, baby. Will I see you tonight?
几率不大 Probably not.
黄氏迷你高尔夫球俱乐部
离小丑的要害有14英尺 It's a 14-footer with a clown hazard.
兜袋 你觉得我用哪只球杆呢 What club you recommend, baggy?
一如既往 我建议用推杆 As on every hole, I suggest the putter.
黄老先生 您的高尔夫球会真是他妈的高级 Your golf club sure is classy, mr. Wong.
到处是裸体雕像 Naked statue classy.
真不错啊 It is very nice.
我只是不希望我和艾米胸前 I just wish Amy and I didn't have to
挂着个傻乎乎的性别牌 Wear these sexist badges on our melons.
我们能做嘉宾就不错了 里拉 We're lucky even to play as guests, Leela.
老爸的球会是禁止女人的 Dad's club has a very strict "no girls allowed" policy.
-真不公平 -事实如此 - that doesn't seem fair. - it really is.
谁都知道女人掌握不好高尔夫的诀窍 Everybody knows women don't have the focus
打球绝对到不了高级水平 To play miniature golf at a professional level.
不过那是今天最漂亮的一击吧! But that's the best shot of the day!
那不是我的球吗? 我想是我打过去的 Is that my ball? I think that my ball.
-老爸 漂亮 -好的 打完了 - great putt, dad. - okay, we're done.
黄老先生 Mr. Wong,
沙漠中央的这片青草地您是怎么弄的 How do you keep this place so green in the middle of the desert?
这么做不浪费水吗 Doesn't that waste a lot of water?
不会 水多得是 直接从火烈鸟湖抽过来的 Nah, we got plenty water, pumped directly from flamingo lake.
他们没事 They'll be fine.
我忒喜欢迷你高尔夫球 可以说是痴迷 Oh, yeah, I love miniature golf. Love everything about it,
只是球的尺寸有点太他妈的迷你了 Except how damn miniature it is.
所以我打算建造宇宙 That's why I'm building the universe's
超级大高尔夫场地 biggest miniature golf course.
-这是第一个球座 -球洞在哪儿 - This the first tee. - where's the hole?
在冥王星的月亮海德拉上 On pluto's moon, Hydra.
一杆要射6亿英里 男人都很难办到 It's a six-billion-mile par-two. Tough shot, even for a man.
绕过太阳 弹过木星 Around the sun. Bank off jupiter.
正中... And right into the...
我马上回来 I'll be right back.
进了! 给我记2杆 It dropped in! Put me down for a two.
2杆 Two.
听着 那只是第一个洞 Keep in mind, that just the first hole.
整个银河系都在球场建筑计划当中 For full course, we gonna bulldoze this entire arm of the milky way.
什么 就为建一个傻了吧唧的球场 What? You're gonna wipe out 10% of the galaxy
你要毁掉10%的星系? For a stupid golf course?
首先 是12% 其次 你说对了 First of all, it 12%. Second, yes, you betcha.
但是你没想过可能会危及一些有机生命吗 But you have no idea what life forms might be evolving out there.
所以我雇了一名严谨公正的科学家 That's exactly why I'm hiring an impartial scientist
派他进行环境调查 To perform an environmental survey.
就是洗钞票浴的那位 That's him in the money shower.
考查日志 Delivery boy's log.
我正以为在厕所打盹的时候 Having fallen asleep on what I thought was the toilet,
醒来发现正在进行环境考察 I awoke to find the environmental survey in progress.
-情况报告 技术员 -没啥 - Status reports, science officer. - Zilcho.
没任何生命迹象 No sign of life or intelligence.
就像弗莱德约会的时候 Just like Fry on a date.
嘿! Hey!
好吧 我们还没发现生命体 Okay, so we haven't found any life yet.
我还是不明白 为啥你们男的 I still don't see why you men can't be
不满足于正常的高尔夫 Happy with regular-sized miniature golf.
里拉 进化决定了我们强大的男人大脑 Leela, evolution has programmed our fabulous male brains
总想把世人认为的重要之物 To take anything anybody else thinks is important
扩大 and make it bigger.
你们看过我的301寸液晶电视了吗 Have you seen my new 301-inch tv?
"催眠蛤蟆"由巨牌302寸液晶电视赞助播出 Hypnotoad is brought to you by the magnaphallix 302-inch tv.
这款更大! It's bigger!
去死！ Oh, hell!
船长 前方星球发现生命体 Captain, I'm detecting life on the spock-o-scope!
太神奇了 就像是一本活的进化论课本 It's amazing. It's like a textbook on evolution.
堪萨斯洲除外 Except in kansas.
但是王老头不是要在这挖第18个洞吗 But isn't mr. Wong building the 18th hole here?
还要建高尔夫裤头博物馆 And the golf pants museum?
事实如此 最终星球内爆被吸进黑洞 Indeed so. This whole area will be incinerated
整个星球会化为乌有 When he implodes that sun there into a black hole.
那么美的紫行星吗 That beautiful violet star?
所以任何事物都是无法保留现状的 It's so you can't keep your ball at the end of the game.
那可真糟糕 Yo, that's messed up.
等看到我们的环境报告 There won't be any imploding
这些行星就不会被炸毁了 once they read our environmental review.
-对吗 教授 -胡说八道 - right, professor? - twaddle-squat.
科学理论中 绝没提过生命是重要的 There's no scientific consensus that life is important.
是啊 生命算个鸟 Yeah. Life, schmife.
同意摧毁 Approved for demolition.
只能靠我们了 马尾辫 It's you and me, ponytail.
黄氏高尔夫球会
总统先生 我们到了 We're here, mr. President.
咱们来玩迷你高尔夫吧 Let's play some mini-golf.
轻轻一击 不不不 阿格纽 轻一点... Now, just give it a light tap, Agnew. No, no, no, just a light...
现在请观赏蚌式3周 外加转体2次... Now for a triple clam dip, with a double...
阿格纽 点挺背呀 Tough luck, Agnew.
你和老王欠我一块口香糖 Looks like you and Wong owe me a charleston chew.
-闭嘴听我们的 -闭嘴听我们的 - shut up and hear our wisdom. - shut up and hear our wisdom.
-保护生态 -保护生态 - save the ecosystem. - save the ecosystem.
闭嘴听我们的 保护生态 Shut up and hear our wisdom! Save the ecosystem!
老王 啥意思啊 你说过没有小妞的 What gives, wong? You said no chicks allowed.
我们是生态女权会的 We are the greenorita eco-feminist collective,
我们坚决... 什么来着 And we will not let you... What was it again?
我们坚决反对爆掉银河坐标167.84 -58.03 We will not let you implode the violet dwarf star
编号为948号的那颗紫矮星 At galactic coordinates 167.84, -58.03, mark 948.
考察已获批准 一群唧唧喳喳的老娘们儿 Already approved, you cackling hens.
一边凉快去 So get out,
否则我请没脑袋的阿格纽副总统扔你们出去 Or i'll have vice-president Agnew's headless body throw you out.
我看他没啥能耐 I'd like to see him try.
我想也是 不过肯定很逗 阿格纽 Me, too. Should look funny. Sic 'em, Agnew.
当心 高尔夫小车 Runaway golf cart!
小心 阿格纽 Look out, Agnew!
他还好吗 Is he okay?
没有脉搏了 No pulse.
她们杀了没脑袋的阿格纽 逮捕他们 They killed the headless remains of Agnew. Arrest them!
所有会员扯出大衣 All feministas she-vacuate the premises.
我是说撤出大门 I mean "femises. "
星球上的各位子民 My fellow earthicans,
这些生态女权者将会受到严峻刑罚 These eco-crooks will face the maximum sentence.
罪行是杀害一具无头身体 禁闭6周 For killing a headless torso, that's six weeks.
真可笑啊 Well, this is embarrassing.
我天天嚷嚷着杀光人类 Here i've been blabbing on for years about killing all humans,
但谁会真这么干呢 那些小妞 And who actually does something about it? some chick.
里拉不是杀人犯 也不是小妞 Leela's not a killer, and she's not some chick.
她是我爱的小妞 She's the chick I love.
别告诉她我叫她小妞 否则我死定了 And don't tell her I called her a chick, or she'll kill me.
生态女权者阅览室
一些过时的东西
大家保持安静 Everyone stay absolutely quiet!
-那东西开着呢 -快关掉 - That thing's on. - Turn it off!
抱歉 Oh, sorry.
怎么关掉呢 How do you turn it off?
这里 可以了吗 There. Did that do it?
快别说了 No. Stop it. Shut up.
开关在这里 Here's the button here.
现在明白了 And I think I... now I got it.
我来帮你 Let me give you a hand.
太可怕了 This is awful.
我没想过 抗议真能起作用 I never meant for our protest to have any effect.
现在怎么办 now what do we do?
我们可以投降 在监狱待六个星期 Maybe we should just surrender and serve our six weeks in jail.
好啊 我们可以互相做指甲除毛 Hey, yeah! we could do each other's toenails and make shivs.
这太疯狂了 我们没做错什么 That's crazy. We've done nothing wrong,
只是杀死还肢解了副总统 Other than killing and dismembering the vice-president.
我们得做个决定 姐妹们 We need to make a choice, sisters.
要么 我们继续用白痴标语 We can either keep pestering criminals like Leo Wong
纠缠里奥·黄那种罪人 with silly slogans...
-好啊 -这主意不错啊 - Yeah. - Let's do that.
我的意思是 我们不该这么做 Actually, I meant that to be the less preferable alternative.
要么只喊标语 要么付诸行动 We can either chant slogans or we can take action.
第一个方案是什么来的 What was the first choice again?
我选择破坏里奥·黄的高尔夫球场 I choose to save the environment
来保护环境 by sabotaging Leo Wong's golf course.
谁愿意加入 Who's with me?
我们还可以用扩音器吗 Could we still use our bullhorns?
当然可以 Absolutely.
扩音器是生态女权者的主要宗旨 Bullhorns are a core principle of eco-feminism.
那我参加 Then I'm in.
大家做好准备揍贬那个混蛋没 Who's ready to kick some sweaty man-butt?
我穿了专门踢男人的尖头鞋 I've got my pointy man-kicking shoes on.
太漂亮了 Those are cute.
真的吗 我在玖熙买的 Aren't they? I got them at nine west.
安静一下 战士们 攒足力气去破坏 Simmer down, warriors. Full power to the vagyroscope!
当心基勒环缝
那些脏乎乎的环 Those dirty rings.
我想吸干他们 甚至炸飞了他们 I tried soaking them out, even blasting them out.
真的要用这个吗 Are you sure about this?
用精致砂糖 违背我们的生态口号 It would be better for propaganda if we weren't using refined sugar.
没事的 用来堵排气管的土豆 是有机的 It's okay. The potato we're shoving in the tailpipe is organic.
有人破坏 I smell sabotage.
还有土豆味 And potatoes.
不利于因素是 Now, unfortunately,
媒体肯定报道负面新闻 the media is going to put a negative spin on this,
例如我们杀了副总统 Like when we killed that guy,
为了赢得大众支持 我们需要个吉祥物 So to win public support, we'll need a lovable mascot.
沙漠腐土水蛭 小软鳍鱼科
随你扭动吧 你个脏东西 Squirm all you want, you nasty dumpling.
世界上少种生物 多份早餐给... One less species for the universe, one more breakfast for...
-孢子 -里拉 - Zoidberg? - Leela.
我在救水蛭 没想吃了他 Me saving things the leech. not the eating of it.
孢子 你太让我吃惊了 Zoidberg, I'm very surprised at you, slightly.
-里拉 -我是逃犯 - Psst! Leela. - shh! I'm a fugitive.
我知道 我太想你了 里拉 I know. I miss you so much, Leela,
比你在我身边的时候还想 even more than when you were here.
我也想你 弗莱德 I miss you, too, Fry.
你可能觉得我做错了 And you probably think what I'm doing is wrong.
但那是我真心在乎的事情 But it's something I really care about...
无需解释 里拉 You don't have to explain, Leela.
这就是你 我只需要知道这些 You're you. That's all I need to know.
再见 可爱的纸包头 Goodbye, sweet goofbag.
我也想她 兄弟 I'll miss her, too, buddy.
-我先要她的IPOD -我要她的 - dibs on her ipod. - dibs on...
弗莱德 好久不见 伙计 Hey, Fry! long time, man.
棚屋 你最近怎么样 Hey, Hutch! what have you been up to?
还是老样子 找找垃圾桶 Same old, same old. Searching the dumpsters,
锡纸帽保护思路 尿到自己身上 Protecting my thoughts with tin foil, peeing myself.
什么风把你吹来了 So, what brings you to earth?
高级机密 脱掉帽子 读我的思想 It's top secret. hey, take off your helmet and I'll think it to you.
好的 开始吧 Okay. Here goes.
你在哪里 我在哪里 Where are you? and me?
古代伟大的精神病院大厅 The great hall of the ancient legion of madfellows.
欢迎你 Welcome, bro.
-欢迎你 -欢迎你 - welcome, bro. - welcome, bro.
抱歉打烂你的头 我必须这样做 Sorry I bashed your head in, buddy, but I had to.
要知道 宇宙的命运肩负在你身上 You see, the fate of the universe depends on you.
-我知道 -馆长会向你一一道来 - yeah, I get that a lot. - the grand curator will tell you more.
带我去见他 Take me to him.
-伙计 -你好 - hey, man. - hey.
好好想想 弗莱德 So dig this, Fry.
我们公社一直监视宇宙生命能量 Our commune has been monitoring the universe's life energy
监控了很久 For, like, a really long time,
发现了超级诡异的废物 and we're grokking some super weird junk.
无意冒犯 但诡异拿来形容垃圾 废物 I don't mean to be rude, but it's kind of hard to take you seriously
我不大敢相信你说的事 When you say junk like "grok" and "junk. "
-那用"公社"这个词呢 -更糟糕 - what about "commune"? - especially "commune. "
拜托 这是宇宙的命运 用词要上档次 Come on, it's the fate of the universe, puff it up a little.
例如 说你们的远古使命是 Like you could say your ancient order is sensing
感受宇宙生命体剧变 Deep upheaval in the cosmic life energy field.
好 我会考虑 在很久很久以前 Okay. I'll try. so, like, a really, really long time ago...
亿万年来 Eons ago!
酷 Cool.
亿万年来 宇宙中充满了"纤" Eons ago, the life force we call chee permeated the universe.
绿色纤 The green chee
孕育了宇宙间的万物 generated a great upwelling of life across the cosmos.
但是 由于不明原因 But then, for reasons unknown...
原因不明 Ooh. "reasons unknown. "
这样的词汇 才能吸引听众 Now that's the sort of hook that grabs the attention of me,
和观众 the viewer.
不明原因 For reasons unknown...
不错 Nice.
纤开始退化 ...the chee began to recede,
物种开始灭绝 and the diversity of life began to wither.
今天所知的生命形式 The life forms we know today
只是原来的 Are but a fraction of a fraction
一小部分中的一小部分 of the magnificence that once existed.
很多哥们 But a bunch of dudes, right,
他们是祖传下来的这些知识 They totally passed this far-out knowledge down through the ages.
一些人称为预言者 Some with this knowledge were called prophets,
一些成为疯子 我们 精神病人是他们的后裔 Some, fruitcakes. we, the legion of madfellows, are their heirs.
我上电视了 Hey, I'm on tv.
-好了 表演完毕 -不错 这和我有什么关系 - well, that's the show. - neat. what's it got to do with me?
可怜的人 我是说 传达任务 Pooperdoodle! I mean, pardon the omission.
经历和永恒的年代后 You see, after untold eternities,
我们探测到纤的复活 we have sensed a resurgence in the chee.
那是里拉想救的紫矮星 Hey, that's the violet dwarf star that Leela wants to save.
惊人的理解力 兄弟 Freaking nailed it, corndog.
我们相信这颗星预示着绿色世界 We believe this star heralds a new green age,
你的命运是成为引导者和保护者 And it's your destiny to be its shepherd and protector.
我 为什么 Me? why?
因为你没有脑电波 'cause you got, like, no delta brainwave, man.
暗影没法读取你的思想 The dark ones can't groove off your thoughts.
安静 棚屋 你到时候会知道的 弗莱德 Silence, Hutch! you shall learn more in time, Fry.
现在我们要明白大敌当前 But for now, let's just say we have enemies,
可以读取我们思想的敌人 除了你的 Enemies who can read minds, except yours.
不错 等不及告诉里拉了 Cool. I can't wait to tell Leela.
不 如果你告诉别人 他们的思想会被读取 No! if you tell anyone, then their thoughts could be read,
敌人知道我们的存在 And our enemies would know of our existence.
为了保护你爱的人 必须保密 For the sake of those you love, you must keep this secret.
-发誓 -好 我用脚发誓 - do you foot-swear? - okay. I foot-swear.
好 现在为了拯救绿色纪元的到来 Good. now, to save the coming of the green age,
你要阻止这个人 You must stop this man.
我认识他 里奥·黄 我跟他女儿一起工作 I know him. Leo Wong. I work with his daughter.
好 节省了15分钟解释 Good, that will cut about 15 minutes of explanation.
你要赢得黄的信任 潜入他的组织 You must gain wong's confidence, infiltrate his organization
阻止他破坏紫矮星 And prevent him from destroying the violet dwarf.
-找工作 -是的 先生 - Looking for a job, eh? - yes, sir.
要求不高 Nothing fancy.
我愿意从基层做起 从基础开始 I'm willing to start at the bottom and infiltrate my way up.
抱歉 现在不缺人手 Sorry, no openings right now.
我需要个保镖 保护办公室安全 What I need is security guard to keep nutcases out of my office.
-我对付疯子有办法 -我说了没门 - I'm good at keeping nutcases. - I said no way.
保镖得凶猛一些 Security guard gotta be tough.
这个傻子看上去对付不了那些女权者 This idiot don't look like he could handle those feministas.
我看上去能对付女权者 I look like an idiot who can handle those feministas.
不止如此 He'll have to do better than that.
不止如此 我会做的更好 I'll have to do better than that.
我们两个思路相同啊 Hmm. you and I think a lot alike.
你真的对付那些生态疯子吗 You really think you can stand up to those eco-freakos?
先生 有我在 您不必担心 Sir, with me around, they'll be the least of your worries.
就位 伙计和智能外星人 Stand by, men. and manly aliens.
准备好测试金刚球洞 prepare to test fire king kong hole.
可以用 It workses.
干得好 伙计和智能外星人 Good job, men. and manly aliens.
建造金刚球洞完毕 Construction of king kong hole complete.
恐怖 总是金刚 从没用母猩猩 Typical. always king kong, never queen quong.
你们在干吗 给我滚蛋 臭女人 What are those, hooks? get out of heres, you hookers.
我的草地 This is my turfs.
救命 Helpses!
去死吧 大猩猩 You go, gorilla!
头条新闻 那些生态破坏者 Our top story. the string of eco-vandalism
首先 她们杀掉副总统 That began with a harmless vice-presidential killing
现在 在太空肆意作恶 Has spread across the galaxy.
为什么总是你读头条 墨宝 Why do you always get to read the top story, Morbo?
因为观众更相信低沉男性声音 Because viewers trust a deep male voice and huge,
还有头部跳动的动脉 Throbbing forehead veins.
对犯罪行为的反应并非全部负面 Not all reaction to the crime spree has been negative.
我们采访了许多观众 We spoke with several people who viewed
她们认为女权保护者是英雄 These courageous eco-feminists as heroes.
我希望有办法 抱歉 I just wish there was some way to... excuse me.
表达我对他们的支持 Some way to show I support 'em.
给他们送些烟之类 send them some smokes or something.
你赚的是我的两倍 什么 So you make more than twice what I do. what?
2频道新闻接收到一段视频通报 Root 2 news has received a video communique
来自生态女权主义者未知地点 From the eco-feminists' unknown hideout.
这里是潜艇指挥官 This is sub-commander l.,
女权运动革命的始祖 Den mother of the feminista revolutionary collective,
传给里奥·黄的信息 With a message for Leo Wong.
Leo 你是这个宇宙的寄生虫 Leo, you're a parasite on the universe,
必须铲除害虫 and parasites must be destroyed.
所以我们用这只寄生虫作吉祥物 That's why we've adopted this parasite as our mascot.
是有点费解 I know it's a little confusing.
关键是 这个水蛭有权利生存 The point is, even this vicious leech has a right to exist,
因为他是自然的一部分 Because it's a part of nature.
所以像里奥·黄这样的恶毒水蛭 And that's why a vicious leech like Leo Wong
必须铲除 must be exterminated.
还是有点费解 Again, confusing.
我们呼吁各地的女士加入我们的斗争 We call on women everywhere to join our struggle
反对里奥·黄这个沙文主义者 Against eco-chauvinist leo wong.
我们急需擅长公报的写手 We especially need good communique writers.
女权主义者团结起来 Feministas unite!
-别的新闻 -女权主义者团结 - in other news... - feministas unite!
女权主义者团结 Feministas unite!
难以置信 太难以置信了 Incredible. absolutely incredible.
你说这个设备可以暂停倒放现场直播 You're telling me this tivo machine can pause and rewind live tv?
尼克松 这些疯狂的宣传会毁掉我的 These crazy broads gonna ruin me, Nixon.
你要帮我 派出点军队 You gotta help me. send the army or something.
整点大的 Something big that shoots.
先生 我不在乎你是我最大的投资者 Sir, I don't care if you are my biggest contributor.
我们的军队不会服务于个人商业利益 Our armed forces do not serve your private business interests.
抱歉 我 Sorry, I...
我刚才说笑呢 里奥 因为日子太无聊了 I'm just yanking your chain, Leo. I'm on it like boring on gerry ford.
扎普·布兰尼根前来报到 Zapp brannigan purporting for duty.
上帝啊 姬弗 少吹短笛 多些横笛 For the love of god, Kif, less piccolo, more fife.
请说 布兰尼根 Report, brannigan.
总统先生 我盯着这些小美人的档案很久了 Mr. president, I failed to identify these curvaceous banditas
但是还是认不清她们的脸 Despite hours of staring at their dossiers.
是啊，我只能靠运气了 Yet, I seemed to have stroked myself upon good luck,
愿我的爱国的赤子之心 For a patriot of the highest order
能指引我找到她们 has volunteered to lead us to them.
生态女权主义者是无情的罪犯 These eco-feminists are ruthless criminals
为了挽救环境不顾一切 Who'll stop at nothing to save the environment.
真不知道软弱的团体如何能抓到他们 I don't see how a bending unit can catch them.
我们并不是懦弱的团队 总统 Not just any bending unit, presidente.
我睿智 无畏 而且正好缺钱花 I happen to be brilliant, fearless and short on cash.
资金缺乏 Short on cash.
贿赂他 洛克 Slush him, Kroker.
本德之人 生态女权指挥是我的老情人 Bender here has identified the femdito commander as my ex-lover,
陶朗加·里拉 Turanga Leela,
我曾经和她做过爱 Whom I once made love at.
他会接受贿赂吗 And he's willing to fink her out for a few simoleons?
这和钱没关系 尼克松 虽然我想要更多的钱 It's not about the money, Nixon, though I'd like much more.
这和里拉有关 因为她威胁到我的名誉 It's 'cause Leela's a threat. a threat to my reputation.
她犯了12个星系里的30项重罪 She's committed 30 felonies in 12 star systems.
如果没人去阻止 她将打破我的犯罪记录数 If no one stops her, she'll break my record for longest rap sheet.
真是个卑鄙的动机 本德 但我很欣赏 That's a despicable motive, Bender, and I respect it.
现在我去找里拉 但你先授权我使用窃听器 Now, I could find Leela, but you'll need to authorize a wiretap.
-有多少就用多少吧 -我只需要一个 - As many as you like. - I only need one.
那就来6个吧 Let's call it six.
请问 如果你不知道她在哪 Question. if you don't know where Leela is,
你怎样窃听 how can you wiretap her?
我不用窃听她 绿套管 I'm not wiretapping her, greensleeves.
里拉和所有的女人一样 有致命弱点 You see, like all women, Leela has one weakness.
你好 弱点 Hello, weakness!
你好 本德 看看 我是王氏的保安 Hey, Bender, check it out. I'm leo Wong's new security guard.
我有这张保安徽章 手电筒 我还要了这胡须 I got an id badge and a flashlight, and I ordered this mustache.
不赖 懒得理你说了什么 Neat. say, speaking of whatever the hell you just said,
我只想打个电话 I need to make a cell phone telephone call.
我能借你的手机用用吗 Can borrow your cell phone telephone?
可以 但别玩我的俄罗斯方块 Okay, but don't restart my tetris.
我刚刚把方块堆得 I was finally about to get one of those pieces
像个倒过来的字母L That looks like a backwards "l."
没问题 高手 Okay, superstud.
气色不错啊 保安 没有女权者在你旁经过 Looking good, security. no feministas getting past you.
没有 先生 我的胡子盯着呢 No, sir. not on my mustache's watch.
弗莱德 我不敢相信你为我爹做事 和里拉做对 Fry, I can't believe you're working with my dad against leela.
你怎么能说是她朋友 却要她去坐牢 How can you claim to be her friend and still want her in jail?
这真的很难抉择 我承认 It's a tightrope walk, I won't deny it.
但你父亲的想法具有多面性 It takes the kind of multi-sided thinking your dad's so brilliant at.
-两面三刀吗 -别介意 我这个怪女儿 - you mean being two-faced? - don't mind cranky-pants here.
从她还是小胖妞时就是这么古怪 She been cranky ever since she was a fat little girl.
爸爸 Dad!
弗莱德 残忍的事实是 Can I be brutally honest, Fry?
我一直想要个男孩 I always wanted a son.
很残酷 但我理解 That hurt, but I can take it.
我知道你想要个男孩 I knew you wanted a son!
不然 为什么我拼命成为小型高尔夫的冠军 Why do you think I became a miniature golf champion?
为什么我穿着这愚蠢的男裤 Why do you think I wear these stupid boys' sweat suits?
因为 那是用来遮住你的肥臀 To hide your big, fat butt, that's why.
先生 事实上 艾米的臀很性感 Now, sir, in fairness, Amy's butt is actually pretty hot.
你们这些男的怎么回事 What is it with you men?
为什么总是说我的臀部 Why does everything revolve around my butt?
因为那真是 超级无敌巨大 'cause it's so big and massive.
-抱歉 -受够了 - Sorry. - that's it!
为什么不直接收养弗莱德 不就有个男孩了吗 Why don't you just adopt fry and make him the son you never had?
那么我就可以不做你的女儿了 That'll replace the daughter you don't have anymore!
哇 好大的屁股 Whoa! what's with big butt?
她只是饿了 She just hungry.
-给你 弗莱德 -谢谢 - Here you go, Fry. - thanks.
还有 我摆错一个方块 Fry, I dropped that tetris piece in the wrong place
游戏结束 and ended the game.
游戏结束
不 No!
黄氏迷你高尔夫俱乐部
好了 现在艾米要告诉里拉我是个混蛋 Great! now Amy's gonna tell Leela I'm a jerk.
如果我向她解释 If only I could explain
我在执行一项铲除魔鬼的任务 I'm on a secret mission against evil.
等等 魔鬼 是的 没错 魔鬼 Wait. evil? yeah, yeah, evil.
那里怎么回事 那可怕的声音 What's going on in there? a scary noise?
救救环境
你是里拉的女权成员 Hey, you're one of Leela's feministas.
保护环境 要求里奥辞职 save the environment! wo-mandate leo's retirement!"
书法太烂 别再做无用功了 That's terrible writing! stop making your point so ineffectively!
放开你的脏手 Take your mands off of me!
我站在你这边的 I'm on your side.
别嘘我 Don't shush me.
拜托了 能帮我向里拉传个口信吗 Please, can you take a message to Leela?
是什么 What is it?
就告诉她 她的纸包头在这工作 Just say her sweet goofbag is working
是为了拯救紫矮星 to save the violet dwarf star,
和她一样 Just like she is.
好吧 我这女人就帮你传达你男人的信息 Very well, I'll fem-municate your man-formation.
告诉她就行了 Just tell her.
宣布倒闭
完蛋了 老伙计 星球快递全完了 Well, this is it, old friends. planet express is done for,
我们船员的全部失踪 What with our delivery crew missing
贩卖本德娃娃是个无底洞 And the abysmal sales of tickle me Bender.
别再摸我了 你这变态 Quit touching my junk, pervert!
伸出手 我帮你们除去职员芯片 Hold out your hands and I'll remove your career chips.
我真不情愿现在结束了 I hate to see it come to an end.
快点结束吧 When will it end?
你该去接电话吧 教授 Shouldn't you get that, professor?
是的 I suppose.
你好 Hello?
教授 我的老头 Professor, old buddy,
我要炸掉紫矮星 I'm gonna blow up the violet dwarf star.
我要你传送几百英里的安全栅栏 So I need you deliver billion-mile security fence
来防止抗议者 这是脏生意 很多钱的哦 To keep out protesters. dirty business. lot of money.
你够腐败吗 You corrupt enough?
没问题 Damn skippy!
好消息 可怜人 我们绝处逢生啦 Good news, crybabies! we're back in business.
小心点啊 教授 Sweet kookaburra of edinburgh, professor.
你确信你能驾驶这东西吗 You sure you know how to fly this thing?
我发明了这玩意 你问问爱迪生 I invented it, didn't i? you wouldn't ask Thomas Edison
他是否会使用充气娃娃 Whether he knew how to use a sexmatron.
可能是女权者 The feministas, probably.
哈特 你在太空四角干什么 Halt! what are you doing in this parallelogram of space?
我们传送着围墙来阻止你们靠近 We're delivering a fence to keep you ladies in your place.
-艾米 -拉粑粑啦 - Amy? - Labarbara?
没错 老公 That's right, husband.
现在开始 你自己做你的男性三文治 From now on, you make your own manwiches.
根据星级条例 Under the articles of the confemiracy,
我们要让女性主宰这飞船 we hereby wo-mandeer this ship.
没门 现在三打三 Oh, no, you don't. it's three against three.
那是我所看过的最好的戏剧 That was the greatest play I ever saw.
总共肯定有20幕 it must have had 20 acts.
我们帮你安装了围墙 里奥·黄 We installed your fence, Leo Wong.
我们该想个好点口号吧 Should we shout a clever slogan?
你是说类似 "最佳的防御就是有个好的围墙" You mean something like, "the best defense is a good fence?"
对 类似这样 搞笑点的 Yeah, something like that, only funny.
我希望我们能 I wish we could,
但我们的首席口号作家现在大本营 But our chief slogan writer is back at the honeybun hideout.
"紫罗兰矮星"和"男人都是呆瓜"押韵吗 Does "violet dwarf" rhyme with "men are dorks"?
通过扩音器押韵 It does through a megaphone.
这是我想起 我要告诉里拉那怪人 That reminds me, I've got to tell Leela about that weirdo
他要去拯救紫矮星 Who wants to save the violet dwarf.
那么 那群疯子有新人 对吗 So, the legion of madfellows has a new pawn, eh?
有人在这吗 Is somebody here?
如果你是深散射层的人 你已迟了两天了 If you're the dsl guy, you're two days late.
那给里拉的口信是谁给你的 Who gave you that message for Leela?
我不知道他的名字 I don't know his name.
你对我们暗影没有利用价值 Then you are of no use to the dark ones!
我早已逝世的弟弟 我会为我的死报仇的 Long lost brother, i'll avenge my death.
弗丽达·瀑布 怎么不押韵了 Where are your crappy rhymes now, Frida Waterfall?
我死了 我死了 I'm dead. I'm dead.
只吃天然全谷的面包 Eat only natural whole-grain bread.
6 7 8 关大门 Six, seven, eight lock the gate
1 2 3 放好钥匙 One, two, three turn the key
30, 50, 10
-我的肮脏 靠不住的朋友 -弗莱德 很久没见 - My dirty, shifty friend? - hey, Fry, long time.
欢迎回到疯子军团 Welcome back to the legion of madfellows, man.
你干嘛敲我 你这白痴 Why'd you bonk me, you idiot?
你应该叫我和你一起来 You could have just asked me to come with you.
我们在哪 这不像你平时的垃圾堆 And where are we? this doesn't look like your regular dumpster.
时机到了 All in good time!
现在应该是好时机吧 I guess now is a good time.
我们在火星上 在被遗忘的山洞里 We are on mars, in a forgotten cavern
一百万年前被火星人遗弃了 Abandoned by the native martians a million years ago.
事实上只有5年 Actually, it was five years ago.
因为我记得他们帮我洗袜子 I remember 'cause they washed my socks.
干得好 弗莱德 You have done well, Fry.
你已讨好里奥·黄了 You have ingratiated yourself with Leo Wong.
我从他的脸颊亲到他的屁股 Yup, I kissed his ass from cheek to shining cheek.
那么我接下来该做什么 So, what do I do next?
作为他的保安队长 As Wong security chief,
当他要摧毁紫罗兰矮星时 你会在他身边 You will be on hand when he attempts to destroy the violet dwarf.
你必须制止他 You must not let that happen.
"必须让它发生" "must let happen. "
不让他发生 Not happen!
"必须让它进行" "must let occur. "
我和你讲个故事吧 是关于两个外星物种 Let me tell you a story. a story of two alien species
他们非常的古老 在他们的眼中 So ancient that compared to them
人类就像是即将毕业的大学生 the human race is a mere college senior!
他们在遥远的小星球里演变 On a distant planetoid they evolved
以寻求生存 To cooperate in their quest to survive.
合作 因为生命就是团队运动 Cooperation, because life is a team sport.
但随着时间推移 But, over time,
有一个物种演变了一个更好的策略 one species evolved a better strategy,
接着进化的军事竞赛开始了 And an evolutionary arms race began.
视频到此暂时结束 That concludes the audio-visual portion
课就上到这里啦 of our head-clonk and lecture.
等等 那蛇和青蛙最后怎样了 Wait, what happened to the snakes and the frogs?
我想知道 I need to know!
青蛙 或也许是蛇 The frogs, or possibly the snakes,
演变成了邪恶的杀人机器 evolved into vicious killing machines,
它在残酷的自然中磨练 Honed by the merciless forces of natural selection
愈加的狡诈 and intelligent design.
我们称它们为"暗影" We call these the dark ones!
这魔鬼般的生物捕食所有的生命 These evil creatures preyed on all life,
是物种一个接着一个的灭绝 Driving species after species to extinction.
但是 同时 Meanwhile, however,
那另一个物种演变成暗影的死敌 The second species evolved to fend off the dark ones,
照顾和保护所有的生物 Befriending and protecting all other living things.
-也保护席琳迪翁吗 -也许是 - even Celine Dion? - probably.
我们称这些高尚的生物为 万宝鱼 We call these noble beings the Encyclopods,
因为它们的DNA包含 Because their DNA incorporates
它们遇到的所有濒临灭绝的生物的DNA The DNA of every endangered species they encountered,
所以它们能再造已灭绝的生物 So they can recreate them if they go extinct.
就像枕头一样 Just as a pillow,
加上假发和玉米棒就能再造我的女友 A wig and a corncob pipe can be used to recreate my old girlfriend!
没错 Bingo.
同时 在隐居处 Meanwhile, at the honeybun hideout.
现在你们体会到被关在笼子里的感受了吧 There! now you know how it feels to be locked up in a go-go cage.
你到底在说什么 What the hell are you talking about?
闭上你的男性之嘴 Shut your man-hole.
感觉很堕落 I feel dirty.
你确定弗莱德在为你爸工作 Are you sure Fry is working for your father?
真想不到他居然为五斗米折腰 It just doesn't seem like him to be so evil, or to hold down a job.
是真的里拉 我跨过奶罩向上帝发誓 It's true, Leela. cross my heart bra and swear to goddess.
但我认识的弗莱德不是这样 But the Fry I know wouldn't do that.
我要打个电话 来证明你错了 I'm gonna call his cell phone telephone and prove you wrong.
不 弗丽达被谋杀了 Oh, no! Frida's been murdered!
吓的我的心怦怦跳 Sweet she-cattle of Seattle.
你们没有优势 Not your strong suit, woman.
这是谁干的 Who could have done this?
你爸 或是尼克松 Your dad? Nixon?
弗莱德 Fry?
不 不可能 我不认为是他 No, never. I don't think.
不管怎样 有个杀人疯子四处放纵 Anyhow, there's a crazed murderer on the loose,
可能就在阴暗处或吊在天花板上 Possibly in the shadows or hanging from the ceiling.
保持冷静 我给弗莱德打电话 So just stay calm while I call Fry.
那么万宝鱼和暗影现在在哪里 So where are the Encyclopods and the dark ones now?
当万物之母纤退化时 When the life-giving Chee receded,
只有最坚强的生物能适应并生存 Only the toughest organisms could adapt and survive,
例如暗影 Like the dark ones.
更多的生物已灭绝 例如万宝鱼 Many more died out, like the Encyclopods.
但 这是我们这世纪的大秘密 But, and this is the great secret of our age,
我们相信它们留了个蛋做种 We believe they left an egg behind.
-能吃吗 -我们并不打算吃掉 - is it edible? - we're not gonna eat it!
除非找到第二个 不 我们打算孵化它 Not unless we find a second one. no, fry, we intend to hatch it!
那是你来的原因 And that's where you come in.
我来了 And here I am.
百经周折后 造物的大潮已归来 At long last the tide of Chee has returned,
而且这潮流也唤醒了那休眠中的蛋 And its nourishing flow has awakened the dormant egg.
那太好了 That's good.
好得不能再好了 因为有了大量的DNA It's better than good. it's better. with its massive stash of DNA,
万宝鱼就能再造 The Encyclopod can reconstruct every species
那些已灭绝的生物了 that ever went extinct.
幻想一下 经受不住自然考验的物种 Imagine, all the animals that failed evolution's test
又复活了 alive again!
渡渡鸟 冷淡的呆瓜 有条纹的生物嘲笑者 The dodo bird, the brittle-klutz, the striped biologist-taunter.
-那么 蛋在哪里 -在紫矮星系 - so, where is this egg? - in the violet dwarf star system.
-它长得像什么 -像紫矮星 - and what does it look like? - a violet dwarf star!
你是说 整一个矮星就是一个... 哇 You mean, the whole star is a single... whoa! sci-fi.
尽管如此 暗影正前往这矮星 Even now, a dark one is headed to the star
去摧毁它 to ensure its destruction.
那暗影长什么样 Dang! so what does this dark one look like?
一无所知 我承认我们陷入绝境啦 We don't know. I admit it's a horrifically grave situation.
别光捡好听的说 9号 Don't sugarcoat it, nine.
暗影从远古就有 The dark ones have been evolving so long,
它可能幻化成各种样子 It could be anything or anyone.
或各种形象 Or anybody.
也可以变成人形吗 You mean, like, people?
可能是任何人 它会杀死巨蛋 Any people. it will kill the egg,
任何知情者都会被灭口 包括男人女人小孩 And every dude, woman and child who knows about it.
如果它在附近 这些白痴头盔也毫无用处 Even our crazy caps will be useless at close range.
所以只有靠你 它不能读取你的思想 That's why only you, with your defective unreadable brainwave,
也许你能阻止它们 May be able to thwart them
重塑一个新的绿色世纪 And usher in a new green age of wonder and...
你拨打的是弗莱德的手机 里拉 You're on Fry-time. Leela!
-你收到我的口信了吗 -什么口信 - Did you get my message? - what message?
你还没见到弗丽达·瀑布吗 Didn't you see Frida Waterfall?
真的是你杀死了弗丽达·瀑布l吗 So you did kill frida waterfall?
什么 当然不是 我让她转告你我 What? no. I told her to tell you that I'm...
天啊 暗影杀掉她 原来是真的 Oh, jeep! the dark ones got her. it's all true.
我们要好好谈谈 里拉 我不能解释 We need to talk, Leela. then I can explain...
我不能说明 但我们还是该谈谈 Well, I can't explain anything, but we should talk anyway.
-你在哪里 -想得美 - where are you? - oh, no.
我才不会暴露自己的藏身之处 I'm not gonna expose the honeybun hideout.
你在哪里 Where are you?
在火星的基勒火山口附近 知道吗 Near the keeler crater on mars. do you know it?
我应该听说过 I think I read about it.
一个小时后在南边见 别带人来 I'll meet you at the south rim in one hour. no mustaches.
姬弗 设定坐标 36-24-36 Kif, set coordinates, 36-24-36.
代号 里拉 Aka, Leela.
迟到了10分钟 典型的小女子 Ten minutes late. ain't that just like a womanista?
-你一个人吗 -当然 你还不相信我吗 - Are you alone? - of course, don't you trust me?
你逃不掉啦 里拉 There's no escape, Leela.
如果你投降 就脱下衬衫挥动 If you surrender, wave your shirt in the air.
弗莱德 叛徒 Fry, you traitor!
跳到磁铁上 里拉 Hop onto the magnet, Leela!
好的 一 二 Okay. one, two...
你这鼠辈居然出卖我 弗莱德 I can't believe you ratted me out, Fry.
我不是鼠辈 我发誓 I'm not a rat, I swear.
就算是鼠辈 也应该是水豚 鼠中之王 不对 等等 If I'm any rodent, it's the loyal capybara, king of the rats! no, wait.
最新数据 机舱的屁股要被轰掉啦 This just in, we are about to get our asses blown off.
-拉粑粑啦 -消息正确 琳达 - Labarbara? - that's right, Linda.
乐观点 女士们 Stay strong, ladies.
利用巨型球场高尔夫球场甩掉他们 We can lose them in the giant miniature golf course.
但是球场还没完工 而且女士禁入 But the course isn't finished. and there's no girls allowed.
开球 Fore!
想和我们玩高尔夫吗 两个选手就够了 So, they want to play mini golf, eh? two can play at that game.
当然4个也行 那要看球的颜色够不够用 Or even four, depending on the number of ball colors available.
-我选择粉色球 -那是他们的颜色 长官 - I choose pink. - that's their color, sir.
是个屁 The hell it is.
他们穷追不舍 我们需要低空飞入风车球洞 They're gaining on us. we need a birdie on the windmill hole.
等等 等等 Wait. wait.
极速前进 Drop the boot!
长官 根据目前的速度 Sir, at our present speed,
计算机预测我们被切成两半的可能性是 100% The computer predicts a 100% chance we'll be sliced in half.
我们不可能通过的 We'll never make it.
就你那德行当然通不过 保持速度继续前进 Not with that attitude, we won't. same speed ahead!
我们通过了 姬弗 丢了多少士兵 We made it through, Kif. how many men did we lose?
全部 All of them.
也不错 至少没有人会伤心了 Well, at least they won't have to mourn each other.
封住横截面 拉下窗口挡板 Seal the airlocks, and draw the shades.
继续射击 Resume shooting.
不 是大猩猩 那是第4个标准球洞 Oh, no! the gorilla! that's a par-four!
嘴巴太危险了 我们飞向鼻子 The mouth's too dangerous. I'm going for the nose.
别扯淡 除了球洞 别的路行不通 Don't be a sucker. you won't come out anywhere near the hole.
当牙齿开始合上时 我们极速前进 You need to aim for the jaws just when they start to close.
开始合上 你是不是疯了 Start to close? are you out of your...
我们成功了 We made it!
速度101 飞向鼻子 Captaining 101. go for the nose.
我的手断了 我不能再画画了 My arms are broken, I'll never paint again.
你不能起诉军队的 You can't sue the military.
那我痊愈了 I'm okay then.
损毁报告 Damage report.
我们的食物和氧气耗光了 机长 We lost all remaining food and oxygen, captain.
收音机天线也坏了 As well as our xm radio antenna.
那就立刻结束追踪 Then this chase is over.
姬弗 立刻前往最近的天线修理中心 Kif, set course for the nearest xm repair facility.
还有 我们来唱一首80年代的当红曲目 Meanwhile, we shall sing top hits from the '80s.
八十年代的哪一个当红曲目 Which '80s, sir?
当然只有一个了 For me, there are only one '80s.
闻起来和听起来一样 我丢失了又被找到了 Smell like I sound I'm lost and I'm found
我像个饿狼一样的饿 And I'm hungry like the wolf
太准了 我们直直的飞往底洞 The shot was too good! we're jamming straight for the hole.
我们可能要撞毁了 We're gonna crash, even.
撞毁 大伙别瞎想啦 这是个虫洞 Shmeesh, shmill out, shmeverybody. it's a wormhole hole.
当然了 虫洞 我们只是消失然后重现 Of course, a wormhole! we'll simply disappear and reappear in
在宇宙的另一端 Another part of the universe.
我们成功了 We made it!
额滴神啊 我们重现在了云雨号的旁边 Crud nuggets! we de-spaced right next to the nimbus.
以为游戏结束的时候 它却变的更加的刺激了 Just when you think the chase is over, it gets twice as exciting!
看看外面 Hey, look at that.
当我的身体随着杜兰杜兰起舞时 My bloodhound-like instincts must have hunted them down
我猎犬般的本能肯定一直在追踪他们 While my other parts were throbbing to duran duran.
我是否该启动毫无意义的 自取灭亡的追踪呢 Shall I initiate a pointless and potentially fatal pursuit?
立刻启动 Make it so.
躲猫猫 乐趣无穷 在太空中 It's gonna be fun on a bun, in space.
看啊 小行星 充满了生命 Look! the asteroid. now it's crawling with life.
就像生命的摇篮 Like zoidberg's sandals!
太奇妙了 Wow! it's incredible.
但里奥·黄摧毁矮人行星时 一切都会消失 But it'll be destroyed when Leo Wong blows up the violet dwarf.
-你们为什么帮助他 -我不能说 里拉 - so why are you helping him? - I can't tell you, Leela.
你要相信我 You just have to trust me.
你不停的这么说 You keep saying that,
但你总要给我一些理由啊 But you have to give me something to go on or i...
鲸油耗光 鲸油耗光 Out of whale oil. out of whale oil.
燃油指示器已经发出警报 The out-of-fuel indicator. it's indicating.
我们正飘向的那个紫色的 Say, what's that violet-colored dwarf-like star thing
像小行星的东西是什么 we're drifting into?
紫色小行星 The violet dwarf star!
没错 Of course.
猩猩是第18个球洞 我们又要从头开始 The gorilla was the 18th hole, so we're headed into the ball return.
现在还能出什么差错啊 What else now can go wrong?
女士们 你们被捕了 Ladies, you're under arrest.
准备好再次登陆吧 Prepare to be boarded again and again.
他别想活捉我 He'll never take me alive.
别轻言放弃 我还有一计 Don't give up yet. I've got one more trick up my sleeve.
一计就足够了 That's exactly the number we need.
女人啊女人 The fairer sex.
似乎不大对劲 但又有点对劲 Something's very wrong here, and yet a little bit right.
为时过早了 布兰尼根 Not so fast, Brannigan.
一点也不早 女权主义者们 Even less fast, feministas!
本德 Bender?
没错 就是我 All two tons of me.
全体起立 有请 All rise for the honorable chief
尊敬的法官德格 和陪审团 Justice D- o-g-g and the associate justices.
不坐下就走开 Yo. seat it or beat it.
你们被控罪名是 谋杀 The charges against y'all femditos is murder,
故意伤害 破坏公物 绑架还有拒捕 Mayhem, vandalism, kidnapping and resisting arrest.
见鬼了 五大罪名 Damn! the big five.
你们有机会辩白 You may now make your opening.
还有什么话要说 What you got to say for yourselves?
请法院允许我 May it please the court...
我是说 请法院YOYO允许我YOYO(法官喜欢嘻哈） I mean, may it plizzle the cozizzle.
-请讲 -这些指控都是无理的 - proceed. - these charges are outrageous.
我们唯一的目的只是拯救一个小行星 Our only goal was to save a rare violet star
及其生态系统 and its precious ecosystem.
如果保护环境也是犯罪 那么 If protecting the environment is a crime, then...
保护环境的确是犯罪 Protecting the environment is a crime.
我无语了 I rest my mouth.
你是否愿意起誓 所说的话句句属实 Do you swear to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth?
我 这个 那个 该起誓我就会起誓了 I... well, now, i... am I under oath when I take the oath?
证人是否能指认女权主义者的领导人 Can the witness identify the feminista leader?
就是她 That's her right there,
眼睛里透着杀气 With the "i'm gonna kill you bender" look in her eye.
咦 你不就是去年持枪抢劫我的那个机器人吗 Hey, aren't you the robot who robbed me at gunpoint last year?
阁下 无可奉告 No further answers, your honor.
求你了 法官 Please, justice Dogg,
德格 里拉和她的朋友是无辜的 Leela and her friends are completely innocent.
等等 你到底有没有被她们劫持 Hold up. were you or were you not abducted by these hoes?
劫持这个词真不中听啊 Well, abducted is such an ugly word.
黄先生 法庭不能强迫你 Mr.Wong, the court cannot compel you
指证自己的女儿 to testify against your own daughter.
不不 我自愿的 我还有些关于我妻子的话要说 No. no, I want to. also, I got something to say about my wife.
听完了这一些证人 Having heard some of the testimony
证人所说的话 over these jams I've been listening to,
我和我的陪审团 需要合计合计 Me and my crew will now kick it in the mix.
好的 我们已经做出宣判 All right. we got us a verdict up in this high court.
庭长 当它是合法的宣读吧 Bailiff, drop it like it's legal precedent.
在里奥·黄和生态女权主义者的争执中 In the matter of Leo Wong v. the greenorita eco-feminist collective,
四票说有罪 五票说无罪 Four justices vote to convict, five to acquit.
但是 由于投票有性别差异 However, since the vote was strictly along gender lines
女性的投票只能算半票 And the female justices' votes only count half,
你们被判有罪 You are hereby found guilty.
虽然这法律系统侮辱歧视女性 但还是奏效 It's a humiliating and biased system, but it works.
被判入狱50年 Fifty years in the maximum security Dogg house.
退庭 Peace.
-女士们 欢迎光临地狱 -周六要款待我们吗 - Ladies! welcome to hell. - beats nutley on a saturday night.
这是个私人盈利监狱 而我的管理 This is a privately-owned for-profit prison, and I run a tight,
严厉 苛刻 Cheap ship!
所有的部门都要节省开支 I've done this by cutting cost everywhere,
尤其在刑罚上 especially on punishment.
你的牢狱生活的苦难 主要来自你的狱友 I rely on you inmates to make prison unpleasant for yourselves.
你们可以肆无忌惮的虐待新囚犯 You're encouraged to sexually harass new prisoners,
组织群殴大赛 不必讲究个人卫生 Organize no-holds-barred catfights and maintain poor hygiene.
放马过来试试啊 条子 Try and make me, copper.
捣蛋鬼啊 A troublemaker.
尝尝我这根打折买回来的警棍吧 Taste the lash of my 99-cent-store nightstick!
既然女权主义者都蹲牢房了 工程继续 With the feministas in jail, it full speed ahead.
你和我 弗莱德 明天我们就要炸掉紫矮星 You and me, Fry. we implode the violet dwarf star tomorrow.
轰隆隆 Ka-boom-boom.
-你和我吗 -没错 - You and me? - yeah.
-明天吗 -明天 - Tomorrow? - tomorrow.
-轰隆 -轰隆隆 - Ka-boom? - ka-boom-boom.
你好 疯鬼 我要 Hello? madfellows? I need to...
里奥·黄准备炸毁紫矮星 Okay, Leo Wong's about to destroy the violet dwarf.
有什么办法能够阻止他 告诉我 So, whatever I need to know to stop him, tell me now.
真主保佑 阻止他这还是个小问题 Alas! stopping wong isn't the only problem.
其中一个暗影要阻止你阻止他 One of the dark ones will try to stop you from stopping him.
所以你必须阻止它阻止你阻止他 So, you must stop it from stopping you from stopping him.
可是我怎么样阻止它阻止我阻止他呢 But how can I stop it stop me stop him?
住嘴 请看 欧米茄装置 Stop it! behold, the omega device.
就是这玩意吗 That's it?
配的起欧米茄装置的 The name "omega device" sort of
应该看起来酷一点吧 conjured up something cooler-looking.
我并没有失望的意思 Not that I'm disappointed or anything.
这装置里面的东西才重要 The important thing is what's inside.
-那里面是什么 -没人知道 - what does that look like? - no one knows, man.
这是一个盲人发明家制造的 It was invented by a blind inventor,
而听他描述的那个人是个聋子 And the one dude he described it to was deaf.
传说就这样产生了 So the legend goes.
被激活时 When activated,
这个设备会瞬时释放极大的声波 the device will emit a localized blast of delta-band noise
让暗影暂时失去行动能力 To momentarily disable the dark one.
-就像在帐篷里放屁一样吗 -不 像在电梯里 - like farting in a tent? - no, an elevator.
所以你必须近距离攻击敌人 Which is why you must strike the enemy at point blank range!
但是暗影可能幻化成各种形状 But the dark one could look like anything or anyone, right?
无所不在 Or anywhere.
那么有什么办法辨认它们 So, what's your plan to recognize it?
-没有办法 -收到 - we don't have one. - got it.
我们也不敢想办法 否则 And we don't dare think of one neither. 'Cause if we do,
暗影可能会感受到脑电波波动 the dark ones might sense kind of the general vibe.
就算带着锡纸头盔也无济于事 Even through our mighty foil.
见鬼了 谁有胶带或者口香糖吗 Oh, man! anyone got some tape or some gum?
就像我的同伴所说 我们没有计划 弗莱德 As my colleague indicated, the plan cannot come from us, Fry.
我们只能指望你 We were counting on you
还有你不可破击的脑电波 And your unreadable brain to come up with something.
-你们想错了 -我也看出来了 - that was a mistake. - I see that now.
恐怖的是 暗影的思想也不能破解 Freaky thing is, the dark ones' thoughts are unreadable,
就像你的一样 just like yours.
是的 如果我们摘下头盔 Yes, if we dared unwrap our heads,
我们的藏身之处就会 We could easily locate the one other being
被暗影读取 而我们 whose mind we can't read.
不能读取它的想法 The dark one!
但是暗影就会读到我们的想法 But then the dark one would read our minds
然后把我们的脑袋像碾南瓜一样碾碎 And crush them like blood pumpkins.
等等 我可以读心 而别人不能读我的心 Wait. I can read minds and my mind can't be read.
-我有一个计划 -太好了 - I have a plan. - Great.
不管是什么都别告诉我们 Whatever it is, don't tell us.
等等 弗莱德可以读心 而他的心不能被读 Wait. Fry can read minds and his mind can't be read.
所以他可以很安全的找到暗影 So he can safely scan for the dark one...
闭嘴 闭嘴 Shut up! shut up!
里拉 时间到 我们必须去紫矮星了 Leela, time is running out. we must get to the violet star.
好的 好的 闭嘴 Okay, okay. shut up, already.
没人说话 里拉 Nobody's talking, leela.
我们正在用老鼠血涂各自的脚指甲 We're just painting each other's toenails with rat blood.
熄灯 女士们 Lights out, ladies!
这么多日光灯每天都在浪费钱 Those compact fluorescent bulbs waste pennies a day.
好的 女权主义者们 危险解除 Okay, feministas, all clear.
现在请听里拉的逃生计划 We now go live to leela with the escape plan.
-里拉 -谢谢 琳达 - Leela? - thanks, Linda.
我们入狱 是因为拯救濒危野生动物 Now we're in here because we tried to save endangered wildlife.
这次 濒危野生动物将拯救我们 So this time, endangered wildlife will save us.
火星腐土水蛭 The martian muck leech.
没错 从我们被抓他就寄生在我身上了 That's right. he's been living off me since we got captured.
小可爱差点把我吸干 Little cutie almost sucked me dry.
看他的动作 Look at him go.
就像一条绿蛇穿过一个蔗糖蛋糕 Like a green snake through a sugarcane cake.
继续努力 Keep trying.
我们的头号新闻 Our top story.
宇宙最大通缉犯生态女权运动者现在被收押 The universe's most wanted eco-feminists are now behind bars,
包括帮会领导者 陶朗加·里拉 Including gang leader, Turanga Leela.
代号声名狼藉的三陪女 Aka, the notorious b-i-itch.
我们完成飞船的除粉色，休伯特 现在干嘛 We finished un-pinking the ship, hubert. now what?
现在我们回去工作 Now we get back to work.
即使摧毁一个或两个生态系统 也在所不惜 And if that means destroying an ecosystem or two, so be it.
我是指没有我们的朋友弗莱德 里拉 艾米和机器人 I just meant without our good friends Fry, Leela, Amy and the robot.
这是工作 不是科学俱乐部 钱说了算 Oh, boo-hoo. this is a business, not a social club. money talks.
真正的财富是友谊 True wealth is measured in friendships.
你闭嘴 Shut up, you.
生活继续 Life goes on.
但我相信我们内心会永远带着痛苦 But I believe we'll forever carry the pain on the inside.
不要 鸡鸣 天亮了 Oh, no, a rooster! that indicates it's the following morning.
那个爬行动物干的怎样了 How's that creepy crawler doing?
对不起 女权姐妹们 但它凌晨3点就没劲了 I'm sorry, femi-sisters, but it pooped out around 3:00 a. m.
可怜的东西再也咬不动了 Poor thing couldn't take another bite.
看来我们失败了 Well, I guess we failed.
但重要的是 我们尽力了而且还保持优雅 But what matters is, we tried our best and we looked good doing it.
本德 是你吗 Bender, is that you?
不然还是谁 我那个同样的表兄? Who does it look like? my identical cousin buster?
你来救我们出去? 但是你抓我们进来的 You're here to break us out? but you're the one who put us in.
但我是本德 是非结合体 But I'm bender, king of the combination shot.
我抓你们进来是为了救你们出去 I put you in so that by busting you out,
我可以一次犯15个重罪 I could commit 15 felonies at once.
我史无前例的犯罪记录就比你们长很多 Put my rap sheet miles ahead of yours on the all-time chart.
你是个古怪的杂种 You are one devious bastard.
这就是我的牌照上写着的 That's what it says on my vanity plate.
1古怪杂种
-岗哨怎么办 -已经考虑到了 - What about the sentries? - Already taken care of.
我给他们一块加豆蔻的蛋糕 I sent them a cake laced with nutmeg.
这不就是人类的安眠药吗 That's a human sleeping drug, right?
不 这是人类烘烤用药 No, it's a human baking drug.
好吧 计划B Okay, plan b.
众所周知男人有一个致命弱点 Everyone knows men have one fatal weakness,
他们不能抗拒美色 They can't resist hookers.
蒂克丝 特里丝 你们知道怎么做了 Dixie, Trixie, you know what to do.
你们好 伙计 Hello, boys!
你的眼睛说不 但是你的机关枪说… Your eyes say no, but your machine gun fire says...
女士们先生们不管怎样 Ladies and gentleman and whatever,
欢迎来到我环境破坏最大的爆破现场 Welcome to my most environmentally disastrous implosion ever.
一整个行星系统 A whole star system!
姬弗 老伙计 为了看清点 Kif, old boy, mind if I sit on your shoulders
介意我坐在你肩上吗 for a better view?
事实上 先生 我希望… Well, actually, sir, I was hoping...
谢谢 Thanks.
我的助手菲利普·弗莱德在这里 My associate Philip Fry here will
很荣幸带给这个又丑又臭的行星 Have honor to blow this ugly, dirty star
一个全新的美丽干净的黑洞形象 Into nice, clean black hole.
弗莱德 小心那些电线 你在下面做什么 Fry, careful those wires. what you doing down there?
只是帮你的鞋子打蜡 黄先生 Just polishing your shoes, mr. w.
很好 别忘了脚趾那里 很脏 That nice. get between the toes there, very dirty.
好吧 计划B不管用 Well, so much for plan b.
计划C是什么 What's plan c?
不管什么情况都用相同计划C 曲线跑 来吧 All situations have the same plan c. bending, come on.
我们被困住了 本德 这是一面厚墙 We're boned, bender. it's a brick wall.
没错 这个是违规建筑 Granted, it's not on the list of approved bendables,
但我力 大 无 穷 But I'm so great!
有狗 险情尚未解除 Dogs! the boning continues.
绿色蓝鸟 这是神奇先生 我们等待汇合 Green bluebird, this is mr. fabulous. we are go for cheesing it.
教授 赫梅斯 孢子 Professor! Hermes! zoidberg!
邋遢 一个看门人 Scruffy. a janitor.
你们帮我们逃脱的吗 You helped us escape?
即使我们把你们像戈戈舞者一样 Even after we locked you in a go-go cage
关在戈戈笼里 like common go-go dancers?
我受不了自己了 里拉 我自称科学家 I couldn't live with myself, Leela. I call myself a scientist,
穿着白色外套不时地戳戳猴子 Wear the white coat and probe a monkey every now and again,
我把财富看的比保护自然更重 Yet I put monetary gain ahead of preserving nature.
你能原谅我吗 Can you ever forgive me?
我也是 I reckon.
我可以亲吻你 教授 I could kiss you, professor.
好的 但是小心我的新牙套 Okay, but watch out for my new grill.
在这场终场演出以前 Before the grand finale, as it were,
我64舰队队长察普·布兰尼根应当 It seems only fitting that i, commodore 64 Zapp Brannigan,
来发表一些演讲 为了祝贺... Say a few brief pages in honor of...
不管你的计划是什么 弗莱德 我建议你继续 Whatever your plan is, Fry, I suggest you get on with it.
哦见鬼 我把辣酱搞到我号码九T恤上了 Get... shoot, I got hot sauce on my number 9 shirt.
好的 定位暗影 Okay, locate the dark one
扫描读不出的思想 by finding someone whose thoughts I can't read.
而不寻常的... And unaccustomed...
天啊 我是史上最好的演说家 By god! I'm the greatest speaker of all time.
他们正如饥似渴地接收我的每个字 They're suckling at the teats of my every syllable.
允许我现在 Allow me now...
他的声音真是噪音 我想念艾米 His voice is like ear sandpaper. I miss Amy.
有个秘密从来没有人怀疑过 The one secret no one ever suspected
就是我真的在金星上 Is that I really did stage the moon landing.
登月过 On venus.
如果我有这个世界上所有的钱 我会... If I had all the money in the world, I'd...
等等 我已经有了 oh, wait. I do.
我要感谢学院 I'd like to thank the academy,
我的经纪人 而最重要的是 我的操作系统 My agent, and most of all, my operating system,
Vista视窗 因为它的每件... Windows vista, for everything it...
系统错误 System error.
裸女 裸女 裸女 裸女 Naked ladies. naked ladies. naked ladies. naked ladies.
我真不应该去上成龙的 I never should have taken that accent elimination class
口音矫正课 from Jackie Chan.
好了 鉴于我们即将抹去这颗星星 And so, as we obliterize this star,
让我们记住一句不朽佳句 Let us remember those immortal words
一位名人说过的 就是我 once spoken by a great man, moi.
而且我引用于此 "所有好事都必会结束" And I quote, "all good things must come to an end,
"最完美的结局就是一次伟大的爆炸" "preferably in a humongous explosion. "
让我们引爆这个水球吧 Let's pop this beach ball.
十 九 Ten! nine!
八 Eight!
这里所有人的想法我都能读 There's no one here whose thoughts can't be read.
都能 除了我 No one, except me!
只有我的思想不可读 但是这太疯狂了 My thoughts can't be read. but that's crazy.
如果我是暗影 我应该知道 不是吗 If I were the dark one, I'd know it, wouldn't i?
但是 我在这里 暗影该在的地方 But, here I am, right where the dark one would be,
准备爆破行星 About to blow up the star.
天啊 在我内心深底的某处 我是暗影 Oh, god! somewhere deep inside of me, it's me!
我是暗影 I'm the dark one!
把你们的手举起来 Put your hands in the air!
我们能随意摆手吗 Should we wave them like we just don't care?
随便你 That's optional.
这次你们这些朋克女太过分了 You girl punks gone too far this time.
你们的父母应该羞愧 Your parents should be ashamed.
是的 你应该羞愧 Yes, you should!
-艾米? - 艾米! - Amy? - Amy!
毁掉星星 里奥 快点 Destroy the star, leo, hurry.
你说对了 脑子里的声音 You got it, mr. voice-in-my-head.
我得承认 艾米 I've gotta admit, Amy,
你挥棒动作很漂亮 You got a pretty good swing.
真的吗 谢谢 爹爹 Really? thanks, dad.
好了 是一劳永逸除掉雷管的时候了 Okay, time to defuse this star cracker once and for all.
里拉 等等 你正在犯一个错误 Leela, wait. you're making a mistake.
你不知道真相 You have no idea what's really going on.
那真相是什么 What is really going on?
我不能告诉你 I can't tell you.
那为什么我要相信你 为什么 Then why should I trust you? why?
因为 因为 Because... because...
你就是你 这就够了 You're you. That's all I need to know.
-不 不要 -扯淡 - No! Don't do it! - Fiddlesticks.
里拉 你疯了吗 Leela, are you crazy?
我们亡命越狱来阻止他 We became fugitives and jail-breakers to stop him.
还有色诱 别忘了色诱 And hookers, don't forget hookers.
为你们所有人羞耻 Shame on all of you.
在我们一起经历了所有事以后 After everything we've been through together,
你真的认为弗莱德会 Do you really think Fry would...
再见 里拉 我牺牲自己拯救你们 Goodbye, Leela. I destroy myself to save you.
爆炸声呢 我以为会有爆炸声 Where's the boom? I was expecting a boom.
没用 我是暗影 It didn't work. I'm the dark one,
而这个一点用都没有 And it didn't do anything.
你不是暗影 我是 You're not the dark one, I am.
里拉 Leela?
里拉 你个弱智 是我 leela, you moron. me!
你对我做了什么 What did you do to me?
我是暗影 最后的暗影 I am the dark one. the very last dark one.
怎么可能我居然读不了你的想法 How is it possible I couldn't read your mind?
我立刻失去能力了 Oh, I am momentarily disabled.
那里发生了什么 What's happening out there?
某些美好的事 Somethings wondersful.
这个行星和小行星 The star and the asteroid.
他们是一个卵子和精子 They were an egg and a sperm.
上帝保佑 别让小孩看着这个镜头 Great modem of mercy. cover the children's eyes.
这里没有小孩 There are no children here.
那把你那个肥脑袋挪开 我看不到了 Then move your fat head. I can't see.
万宝鱼重生了 The encyclopod is reborn.
一个新的绿色时代开始了 A new green age has begun!
就像预言说的一样 So the legend foretold.
看它的袋里 灭绝了的塔斯马尼亚虎 Look! inside its pouch. extinct tasmanian tigers.
还有渡渡鸟 还有白犀牛 And dodo birds. and white rhinos.
还有斑纹生物学家嘲弄者 And striped biologist-taunters.
你打算干吗 开枪打我们吗 What are you gonna do, shoot us?
生命 Life!
这些曾经灭绝的生物 These once extinct plants and animals are my
是我给这个世界的礼物 Gift to the universe.
经过无数代 Through untold generations,
我的种族珍惜它们的遗传基因 My race has treasured their DNA.
明智地对待它们 Treat them wisely
谨记 所有的物种都是弥足珍贵的 with the knowledge that all species are precious.
这太不可思议了 这是怎么回事 This is unbelievable. what's going on?
为了回答这个问题 我要给你讲一个故事 To answer that, I must tell you a story.
一个关于古老外星物种的故事 A story of two alien species so ancient that...
棚屋 你还好吗 Hutch, are you okay?
我妹妹的女权项链 My sister's femi-necklace.
什么 What?
嘿 怎么我一点都听不到你的想法了 Hey, how come I can't read your thoughts anymore?
我应该为你报仇 棚屋 和瀑布 I shall avenge you, hutch waterfall.
在无数年后 暗影终于灭绝了 After all these eons, the dark ones are no more.
你会保存他们的基因吗 伟大的万宝鱼 Will you preserve their dna, o great encyclopod?
我想我应该 等等 它到哪去了 I suppose I should. wait, where did it go?
什么 What?
好吧 至少我可以保持人类的遗传基因 Well, at any rate, I shall preserve the dna of homo sapiens.
你不是只保持濒危物种的基因吗 I thought you only saved the dna of endangered species.
珍重 Farewell.
他可能没听到我的话 I guess he didn't hear me.
好了 似乎所有东西都套在 Well, looks like that wraps everything up
一个漂亮的又大又旧又肥的袋子里... In a nice big, old, fat sack of...
我因此根据53项逃亡罪逮捕这些逃犯 I hereby arrest you fugitives on 53 counts of fugivity.
姬弗 围捕他们 让我清静一会 Kif, round them up, and spare me the weary sigh for once.
姬弗 Kif.
等等我 Wait for me.
好了 结束了 Well, this is the end.
有好多话我想对你说 there was so many things I wanted to say to you.
比如 Like what?
比如这不是结局 或者更比如 我爱你 里拉 Like this is not the end. but mostly just, I love you, leela.
也许我等太久了 但是我也爱你 虫洞 Maybe I waited too long to say this, but I love you, too. wormhole!
可爱的宇宙论布局 这个好大 Sweet topology of cosmology, it's huge!
如果我们穿过它 不知道会到达 If we fly into it, it could take us
多少万亿光年之外 Trillions of light years away.
没人知道我们能不能回来 There's no knowing if we'll ever return.
我们怎么办 我们应该怎么办 What do we do? should we go for it?
进入裂口 笨蛋 或者不进 随便 Into the breach, meatbags. or not. whatever.
进 进 进 进 进 进 进 进 进 进 Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go.